who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
Randomize
