You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Randomize
