Having a random hookup so left but love u
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How drunk are you?
Completed.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize