Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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