O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize
