Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Randomize
