I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
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