I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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