He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
Randomize
