Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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