To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
Randomize
