Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
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