it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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