Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Randomize
