i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
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