I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
Randomize
