508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
Me too!
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Randomize
