Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
