I'm lost and stupid without you.
Small penises have feelings too.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
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