I just pynch a tree in the face
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
