I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
Randomize
