So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Randomize
