i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
