It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
Randomize
