you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
BRING THE BAGELS
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
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