I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
