So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
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