oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
