I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
