Texts From Last Night

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  (703): View more from Virginia

  help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.

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  (703): help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help. http://tfl.nu/t5wn
  Replies (11) Good night (535) Bad night (1410) Order T-Shirt
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  (940): View more from Texas

  Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.

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  (940): Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented. http://tfl.nu/jb6b
  Replies (810) Good night (12469) Bad night (5725) Order T-Shirt
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  (443): View more from Maryland

  She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly

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  (443): She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly http://tfl.nu/4li6
  Replies (15) Good night (3686) Bad night (1304) Order T-Shirt
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  (785): View more from Kansas

  i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.

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  (785): i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love. http://tfl.nu/j8m9
  Replies (28) Good night (9504) Bad night (1350) Order T-Shirt
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  (818): View more from California

  his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up

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  (818): his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up http://tfl.nu/dywv
  Replies (13) Good night (994) Bad night (4710) Order T-Shirt
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  (708): View more from Illinois

  I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.

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  (708): I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored. http://tfl.nu/z508
  Replies (5) Good night (2762) Bad night (1299) Order T-Shirt
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  (601): View more from Mississippi

  I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.

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  (601): I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents. http://tfl.nu/vupc
  Replies (17) Good night (2588) Bad night (841) Order T-Shirt
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  (631): View more from New York

  she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly

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  (631): she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly http://tfl.nu/zoqz
  Replies (6) Good night (1617) Bad night (820) Order T-Shirt
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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty

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  (732): I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty http://tfl.nu/54ho
  Replies (11) Good night (705) Bad night (1309)
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  (216): View more from Ohio

  I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.

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  (216): I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast. http://tfl.nu/0c0z
  Replies (4) Good night (2065) Bad night (455) Order T-Shirt
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.

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  (847): I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed. http://tfl.nu/z7fq
  Replies (2) Good night (1286) Bad night (569) Order T-Shirt
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  (580): View more from Oklahoma

  Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"

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  (580): Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying" http://tfl.nu/0sq3
  Replies (4) Good night (3739) Bad night (542) Order T-Shirt
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  (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"

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  (484): Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret" http://tfl.nu/9brs
  Replies (20) Good night (4793) Bad night (583)
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  (561): View more from Florida

  Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?

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  (561): Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club? http://tfl.nu/vdph
  Replies (10) Good night (760) Bad night (269) Order T-Shirt
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  (609): View more from New Jersey

  I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.

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  (609): I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room. http://tfl.nu/he9i
  Replies (8) Good night (456) Bad night (417) Order T-Shirt

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