she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
Slut skills are useful in every country.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
These 27 C*ck Blocks Are Savage AF
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
21 MILFs That Made The Boys Crazy
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter