Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(330): View more from Ohio

now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me

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(330): now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me http://tfl.nu/m2x7

Replies (6) Good night (2917) Bad night (685)
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(339): View more from Massachusetts

so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...

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(339): so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning... http://tfl.nu/swvs

Replies (40) Good night (619) Bad night (2644)
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(845): View more from New York

so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....

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(845): so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again.... http://tfl.nu/lj9p

Replies (22) Good night (911) Bad night (5699)
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(360): View more from Washington

Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.

(1-360): View more from Washington

You win. Erica always eats cat food.

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(360): Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal. (1-360): You win. Erica always eats cat food. http://tfl.nu/lw2c

Replies (10) Good night (3926) Bad night (864)
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(305): View more from Florida

I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.

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(305): I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night. http://tfl.nu/49y3

Replies (18) Good night (4579) Bad night (1542)
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(701): View more from North Dakota

That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.

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(701): That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley. http://tfl.nu/h7e5

Replies (15) Good night (2711) Bad night (1552)
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(403): View more from Alberta, CA

luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.

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(403): luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist. http://tfl.nu/qzta

Replies (16) Good night (3096) Bad night (1096)
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(571): View more from Virginia

Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.

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(571): Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was. http://tfl.nu/tmsm

Replies (12) Good night (3254) Bad night (1551)
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(614): View more from Ohio

It's never too late to be topless.

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(614): It's never too late to be topless. http://tfl.nu/ybgn

Replies (11) Good night (3038) Bad night (960)
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(704): View more from North Carolina

I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.

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(704): I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks. http://tfl.nu/gvia

Replies (3) Good night (743) Bad night (1386)
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(310): View more from California

Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.

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(310): Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN. http://tfl.nu/m6qh

Replies (7) Good night (1089) Bad night (543)
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(860): View more from Connecticut

You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep

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(860): You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep http://tfl.nu/5kc4

Replies (4) Good night (1162) Bad night (505)
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(914): View more from New York

I had to warn the neighbors

(757): View more from Virginia

Warn them about what?! It's noon

(914): View more from New York

"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...

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(914): I had to warn the neighbors (757): Warn them about what?! It's noon (914): "Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess... http://tfl.nu/j7iv

Replies (4) Good night (807) Bad night (413)
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(785): View more from Kansas

U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick

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(785): U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick http://tfl.nu/it39

Replies (7) Good night (1404) Bad night (307)
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(336): View more from North Carolina

I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.

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(336): I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now. http://tfl.nu/ru0z

Replies (6) Good night (175) Bad night (622)

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