Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(713): View more from Texas

You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...

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(713): You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong... http://tfl.nu/oapp

Replies (30) Good night (4425) Bad night (659)
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(678): View more from Georgia

I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.

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(678): I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous. http://tfl.nu/5xat

Replies (8) Good night (1455) Bad night (3678)
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(315): View more from New York

idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.

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(315): idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever. http://tfl.nu/p80i

Replies (11) Good night (8774) Bad night (1155)
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(813): View more from Florida

just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"

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(813): just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl" http://tfl.nu/n699

Replies (7) Good night (3368) Bad night (988)
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(901): View more from Tennessee

He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.

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(901): He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless. http://tfl.nu/gg4g

Replies (5) Good night (3850) Bad night (772)
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(501): View more from Arkansas

My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?

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(501): My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class? http://tfl.nu/2kq9

Replies (10) Good night (934) Bad night (3099)
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(217): View more from Illinois

Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency

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(217): Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency http://tfl.nu/yuks

Replies (10) Good night (3976) Bad night (905)
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(952): View more from Minnesota

Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.

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(952): Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me. http://tfl.nu/t30r

Replies (10) Good night (1911) Bad night (949)
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(320): View more from Minnesota

He won't sleep with me again until I commit...

(1-320): View more from Minnesota

Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.

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(320): He won't sleep with me again until I commit... (1-320): Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick. http://tfl.nu/wb9n

Replies (11) Good night (2096) Bad night (1315)
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(718): View more from New York

Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.

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(718): Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover. http://tfl.nu/imva

Replies (5) Good night (1808) Bad night (613)
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(307): View more from Wyoming

The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.

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(307): The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin. http://tfl.nu/jijz

Replies (1) Good night (703) Bad night (329)
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(248): View more from Michigan

The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks

(248): View more from Michigan

Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down

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(248): The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks (248): Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down http://tfl.nu/3xjk

Replies (2) Good night (913) Bad night (378)
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(941): View more from Florida

She looks like a beluga.

(954): View more from Florida

I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"

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(941): She looks like a beluga. (954): I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched" http://tfl.nu/1qo8

Replies (1) Good night (465) Bad night (399)
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(301): View more from Maryland

I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening

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(301): I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening http://tfl.nu/y28c

Replies (1) Good night (294) Bad night (425)
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(623): View more from Arizona

Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.

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(623): Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime. http://tfl.nu/nfvc

Replies (5) Good night (772) Bad night (275)

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