Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
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and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
15 Times “Flight of the Conchords” Made You Feel Better About Being a Twenty-Something
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.