May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
