She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
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