He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
My hair reeks of homosexuality.
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
Randomize
