Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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