That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
