Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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