Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
Randomize
