I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
As shirtless as possible
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Randomize
