I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
her facebook's as public as her vagina
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
