I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Randomize
