after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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