You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
Randomize
