He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
Randomize
