Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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