It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize
