Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Randomize
