Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
just come out here and I will go home with you...
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
