When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
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