the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
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Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
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You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
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