We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
Randomize