and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
Even my vagina gasped.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found your dick twin last night
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
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