i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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