Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize
