I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Randomize
