you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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