Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
It's Friday. Sex?
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
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